Taming the Tongue. One Layer at a Time…

For many years in my teens and early adulthood I dealt with a lot of guilt and shame around my tongue – my words, biting comments, language, tone etc. I would say something cutting or sarcastic or mean and feel badly about it later. At night I would lay in bed going through the day in my mind with great regret. I would pray and ask for forgiveness, but I’d still beat myself up about it. It took me years to stop swearing compulsively. (Now when I do it at least means something.)

During those years, James chapter 3 was one of the most convicting passages in the Bible for me.

“The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3:6)

Yikes.

“No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8)

Don’t I know it.

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” (James 3:9-10)

I mean I never “cursed” anyone, but I certainly get the “out of the same mouth” concept.

The good news is it has been at least a couple of years since I felt regularly convicted about my tongue. For a long time now much of my language has been cleaned up. I am still pretty witty…but I have more control than I used to. I’m far from perfect in this area, but it hasn’t been the focus of conviction. The Holy Spirit has been working on me in other ways 🙂

Until recently… I feel like another layer is being peeled back. I don’t like it (who likes feeling convicted?!). I’ve had several conversations lately where I have walked away thinking “I shouldn’t have said that!” or “why wasn’t I more encouraging?” or “dang it Sam, you missed any opportunity there.”

I’m not as sarcastic and cutting as I used to be, but I still have plenty of harsh moments. I’m still judgmental or, dare I admit, gossipy sometimes… Ugh.

My gut reaction is to tell this convicting voice to leave me alone! Can’t you see how far I’ve come?! But the Holy Spirit wants more. More change. More growth. More fruit. More like Jesus.

While it does not feel good, I can step back and see this process for what it truly is – grace. I couldn’t have handled the conviction all at once, so it comes in layers. But it still comes. He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion… (Philippians 1:6)

I am both grateful for how far I have come and daunted by how far I have yet to go. Through it all, I know my guide in this change process is good. So I’ll take one step at a time – not allowing the voice of shame to discourage me – but instead keeping my eyes set on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.